Sweat, dust and fear. These three words aptly sum up what you can expect when you set out to conquer the beautiful hills and mountains of the kingdom of Swaziland in a four-wheel drive vehicle. And my adventurous self was up to the challenge.
IT IS a common truth that Africa is blessed with gravel roads but the kingdom of Swaziland seems to have been blessed in abundance. Wait. This story needs to be started from the beginning.
The minute it was announced that there was a 4x4 weekend that required a journalist to attend, it quickly became clear no arm-twisting was necessary to get me cracking. Who in their sound minds would classify trading the office chair with the veld in a 4x4 as work? Certainly not me. And this is why?
It is a Saturday morning when we assemble by the poolside of Ezulwini Sun, one of a trio of resorts in the gorgeous Ezulwini valley, south of the capital, Mbabane. This valley encapsulates the “heaven on earth” dictum.
Off-road adventure guru Francois Rossouw kicks things off by giving a brief background of the yearly event. Having been in this game since 1972, the RSG 4x4 Club events coordinator has thousands of stories to tell about the pilgrimage through the rocky terrain.
Soon the eight 4x4 SUVs are lined up and the team of more than 24 participants is on course to begin its crusade.
In the line-up, the Range Rover Vogue takes the lead both in price and superiority. It is hotly pursued by the Land Rover Discovery TDV6 Sport. The luxurious Jeep Commander 5.7L looks more than ready to take up the challenge. But you must see the sexy Jeep Wrangler Rubicon’s attitude before considering the Mitsubishi Pajero and the two Nissan Patrols.
These vehicles look too precious to be taken to the bush, I think to myself. I’m not the only cynical one. “They are not suitably adapted for serious 4x4-ing,” says Jeanne Volschenk, a staunch off-road enthusiast and Capetonian who ditched the seaside in 1997 just to be close to the endless rocks and trees of unspoilt Swaziland.
He laments: “It’s a pity that the designs of these SUVs are dictated by the market. When adventure hots up it’s easy to damage a vehicle, so with these, extra care is needed, and that tends to trim the fun”.
Soon we are in the vehicles and setting out. Less than a kilometre from the hotel we are on a dirt road. Members of the nearby community rush out of their modest houses to wave at the pilgrims, marvelling at the convoy of plush SUVs.
Francois wastes no time. He wants the fun to begin; here, now. So instead of crossing the highway that links the cities of Mbabane and Manzini, we drive through a storm-water drain, using it as a tunnel.
As we reach the other side of the road we are in rural Swaziland and the 4x4s are itching to stir up some dust. When the road gives us trouble, we simply beat a fresh path, leaving a cloud of dust in our wake. Francois suggests that we breach the nearby koppie, just for fun.
The steep hill seems to be easy meat. The stunts evoke a shot of adrenaline; nothing is as stimulating as a growling V8 engine. After repeated climbing of the hill, it’s time to proceed.
As we ascend the winding dirt stretch called the Tea Road, Jeanne points out a tree.
“It’s called the Coral Tree. It’s a tree that refuses to die.”
The community cuts down the tree to make fence poles. The poles start growing leaves and become trees again.
As we relish the wonders of nature, we lose pace and the rest of the team gets far ahead of us. With a chuckle, Jeanne guns the Patrol’s 3 litre petrol engine and soon it feels as if we are back in Gauteng with the speed, only minus the metro cops who often lie in ambush, laser gun in hand. Take it from me, driving on tar is a downright bore. How am I going to get used to it again?
We get to a small river and before we know it we are in a muddy situation; a time for the 4x4s to prove they are not just shopping trolleys.
The sexy Rubicon is the first to make a splash and redeem itself. It leisurely moves through the water, eats the sand on the bank, climbs the ridge and it’s out. Point taken. Next in is the Pajero. Easy peasy!
The mud is getting really sticky now, giving the Discovery a fresh challenge. What? Impressive! After all, the Landy is the mother of traction technology. Of all the vehicles it is the most hi-tech.
“It does not permit any slippage and this it does by constantly varying the driving force to the wheels,” says Land Rover’s Ian Wentzel.
Because the Vogue is stuck in the mud, you can say it fails the traction test. But Jeanne says: “It’s the low-profile wheels. They are not ideal for off-roading; those are for Sandton driving.”
So what do we do? Simple – beat a new path. The Vogue reverses a little, points its wheels to a steeper dry cliff and ascends gingerly.
I take a glance at the vehicle and I feel pity for the car washers. Once we are done with this mud-slinging, they will really earn their day’s takings.
We continue with our crusade but first, we must change drivers. By the end of this voyage each of us has to have had a go at all the SUVs.
Occasionally we make a stop to get something to drink because this kind of business tends to be dehydrating. We may be having fun but sorry, no alcohol allowed.
We’ve covered half of the 60km expedition to the top of the mountain and it’s time for lunch.
But this will not happen before we tackle the next obstacle. We are facing huge ridged boulders after which, if we get past, we will access the mystery lunch spot.
Again the Rubicon is the trailblazer. It passes this test with little effort, enforcing its unrivalled status of the most practical 4x4 of the day.
Francois and the crew from Land Rover and Jeep help the drivers manoeuvre by directing them. This helps to prevent the vehicles from hitting the rocks. But still they take a few scratches on the bumpers and the plastic trimmings that make them eye-candy.
We sit down and tuck in. Forget the comfort of chairs and tables; we are in the bush, so on rocks we sit.
Because we don’t have the luxury of time, we are soon on our way.
As we leave, we are met with another surprise challenge: quite a steep depression. Again with Francois’ help, the vehicles are carefully driven down the slope and climb up the steep incline on the other side. It gets really interesting when the vehicles undermine the slope, with two wheels dangling in the air. Technique is key, says Francois.
After a short drive along a grassy stretch, the road begins to get extremely rocky and quite steep. No, in fact there’s no going forward, it’s a dead end. The imposing rock in front of us is a mountain itself. But how has the red Jeep Rubicon reached the top?
I’m next and I think this must be a joke. I suddenly break a sweat and my foot is repeatedly tapping on the accelerator pedal in spasmodic fashion; I’m shivering. I’m feeling weak and strong at the same time. For the life of me I cannot believe the Commander will go up the rock with me behind the wheel. Before the fear gets the better of me I am halfway up the intimidating rock, a rock so steep the sky is all I can see through the windscreen.
The growling V8 restores my strength, but not enough to slow down the racing heartbeat. I am thinking: what if ... what if ... forget it, I’m up the hill and have parked the Commander. Believe me, the power of this Jeep is simply amazing and my heartbeat is slowly returning to normal. Watching the other vehicles judiciously approach the arrogant rock makes for an effective tranquilliser.
Now we must take the mission to the next level, but Francois’s Nissan Patrol is stuck in a rift between two rocks, thanks to the towbar that has landed against one of the rocks. The car’s rear wheels are spinning in the air, and boy, is it steep.
Well-prepared Francois whips out a tow rope and connects it to the athletic Rubicon. In no time the Patrol is free and we are on the move.
The next uphill takes the cake as the father of steep. In full command of the Discovery TDV6 Sport, I prudently take on the pompous rock, whose incline is 60 degrees, at a glance. This is no timid boulder but the SUV’s meanness quickens my blood. When I squeeze the accelerator, it piles on the attitude.
By maintaining secrecy about what challenges lie ahead, the organisers keep the fun fires blazing.
A feeling of achievement prevails as we get to the top of the mountain – quickly – rendering Kilimanjaro irrelevant – even Everest.
This is a picture-perfect site. Standing on this mountain, we are surrounded: it’s mountain after mountain after mountain. Manoeuvring past the beautiful rocks requires serious negotiating and that’s where the cream of the fun is.
As if by consensus, we spend a longer time on the mountain. The tranquillity we enjoy as we feed our eyes on the breathtaking view of the rolling hills of the kingdom is priceless.
“In South Africa, places such as this one are already taken by private owners. We always need to seek permission and it’s sometimes difficult. That is why we come to Swaziland for this kind of activity,” says Andy Cory of Sidududu Tours.
Perhaps that is why most South Africans use their 4x4s to buy groceries. Ian says: “Only about 5% of our customers buy the 4x4 and actually do off-roading.”
The winter wind starts pressing down on the mountain and we know for sure it’s time to whip out jackets and grumpily accept that the end of our off-roading expedition has come.
So much for a short day, the day we took millions of rands to the bush to play. The combined value of the vehicles is in excess of R6 million, with the Range Rover sweeping the stakes at about R1.2 million.
Going back to the hotel, the vehicles snake down one of rugged Swaziland’s dirt roads. Because of the occasional cow on the road, vigilant driving is not optional and the bumpy ride is a trusted cure for insomnia. We are bushed. What a weekend!
IT IS a common truth that Africa is blessed with gravel roads but the kingdom of Swaziland seems to have been blessed in abundance. Wait. This story needs to be started from the beginning.
The minute it was announced that there was a 4x4 weekend that required a journalist to attend, it quickly became clear no arm-twisting was necessary to get me cracking. Who in their sound minds would classify trading the office chair with the veld in a 4x4 as work? Certainly not me. And this is why?
It is a Saturday morning when we assemble by the poolside of Ezulwini Sun, one of a trio of resorts in the gorgeous Ezulwini valley, south of the capital, Mbabane. This valley encapsulates the “heaven on earth” dictum.
Off-road adventure guru Francois Rossouw kicks things off by giving a brief background of the yearly event. Having been in this game since 1972, the RSG 4x4 Club events coordinator has thousands of stories to tell about the pilgrimage through the rocky terrain.
Soon the eight 4x4 SUVs are lined up and the team of more than 24 participants is on course to begin its crusade.
In the line-up, the Range Rover Vogue takes the lead both in price and superiority. It is hotly pursued by the Land Rover Discovery TDV6 Sport. The luxurious Jeep Commander 5.7L looks more than ready to take up the challenge. But you must see the sexy Jeep Wrangler Rubicon’s attitude before considering the Mitsubishi Pajero and the two Nissan Patrols.
These vehicles look too precious to be taken to the bush, I think to myself. I’m not the only cynical one. “They are not suitably adapted for serious 4x4-ing,” says Jeanne Volschenk, a staunch off-road enthusiast and Capetonian who ditched the seaside in 1997 just to be close to the endless rocks and trees of unspoilt Swaziland.
He laments: “It’s a pity that the designs of these SUVs are dictated by the market. When adventure hots up it’s easy to damage a vehicle, so with these, extra care is needed, and that tends to trim the fun”.
Soon we are in the vehicles and setting out. Less than a kilometre from the hotel we are on a dirt road. Members of the nearby community rush out of their modest houses to wave at the pilgrims, marvelling at the convoy of plush SUVs.
Francois wastes no time. He wants the fun to begin; here, now. So instead of crossing the highway that links the cities of Mbabane and Manzini, we drive through a storm-water drain, using it as a tunnel.
As we reach the other side of the road we are in rural Swaziland and the 4x4s are itching to stir up some dust. When the road gives us trouble, we simply beat a fresh path, leaving a cloud of dust in our wake. Francois suggests that we breach the nearby koppie, just for fun.
The steep hill seems to be easy meat. The stunts evoke a shot of adrenaline; nothing is as stimulating as a growling V8 engine. After repeated climbing of the hill, it’s time to proceed.
As we ascend the winding dirt stretch called the Tea Road, Jeanne points out a tree.
“It’s called the Coral Tree. It’s a tree that refuses to die.”
The community cuts down the tree to make fence poles. The poles start growing leaves and become trees again.
As we relish the wonders of nature, we lose pace and the rest of the team gets far ahead of us. With a chuckle, Jeanne guns the Patrol’s 3 litre petrol engine and soon it feels as if we are back in Gauteng with the speed, only minus the metro cops who often lie in ambush, laser gun in hand. Take it from me, driving on tar is a downright bore. How am I going to get used to it again?
We get to a small river and before we know it we are in a muddy situation; a time for the 4x4s to prove they are not just shopping trolleys.
The sexy Rubicon is the first to make a splash and redeem itself. It leisurely moves through the water, eats the sand on the bank, climbs the ridge and it’s out. Point taken. Next in is the Pajero. Easy peasy!
The mud is getting really sticky now, giving the Discovery a fresh challenge. What? Impressive! After all, the Landy is the mother of traction technology. Of all the vehicles it is the most hi-tech.
“It does not permit any slippage and this it does by constantly varying the driving force to the wheels,” says Land Rover’s Ian Wentzel.
Because the Vogue is stuck in the mud, you can say it fails the traction test. But Jeanne says: “It’s the low-profile wheels. They are not ideal for off-roading; those are for Sandton driving.”
So what do we do? Simple – beat a new path. The Vogue reverses a little, points its wheels to a steeper dry cliff and ascends gingerly.
I take a glance at the vehicle and I feel pity for the car washers. Once we are done with this mud-slinging, they will really earn their day’s takings.
We continue with our crusade but first, we must change drivers. By the end of this voyage each of us has to have had a go at all the SUVs.
Occasionally we make a stop to get something to drink because this kind of business tends to be dehydrating. We may be having fun but sorry, no alcohol allowed.
We’ve covered half of the 60km expedition to the top of the mountain and it’s time for lunch.
But this will not happen before we tackle the next obstacle. We are facing huge ridged boulders after which, if we get past, we will access the mystery lunch spot.
Again the Rubicon is the trailblazer. It passes this test with little effort, enforcing its unrivalled status of the most practical 4x4 of the day.
Francois and the crew from Land Rover and Jeep help the drivers manoeuvre by directing them. This helps to prevent the vehicles from hitting the rocks. But still they take a few scratches on the bumpers and the plastic trimmings that make them eye-candy.
We sit down and tuck in. Forget the comfort of chairs and tables; we are in the bush, so on rocks we sit.
Because we don’t have the luxury of time, we are soon on our way.
As we leave, we are met with another surprise challenge: quite a steep depression. Again with Francois’ help, the vehicles are carefully driven down the slope and climb up the steep incline on the other side. It gets really interesting when the vehicles undermine the slope, with two wheels dangling in the air. Technique is key, says Francois.
After a short drive along a grassy stretch, the road begins to get extremely rocky and quite steep. No, in fact there’s no going forward, it’s a dead end. The imposing rock in front of us is a mountain itself. But how has the red Jeep Rubicon reached the top?
I’m next and I think this must be a joke. I suddenly break a sweat and my foot is repeatedly tapping on the accelerator pedal in spasmodic fashion; I’m shivering. I’m feeling weak and strong at the same time. For the life of me I cannot believe the Commander will go up the rock with me behind the wheel. Before the fear gets the better of me I am halfway up the intimidating rock, a rock so steep the sky is all I can see through the windscreen.
The growling V8 restores my strength, but not enough to slow down the racing heartbeat. I am thinking: what if ... what if ... forget it, I’m up the hill and have parked the Commander. Believe me, the power of this Jeep is simply amazing and my heartbeat is slowly returning to normal. Watching the other vehicles judiciously approach the arrogant rock makes for an effective tranquilliser.
Now we must take the mission to the next level, but Francois’s Nissan Patrol is stuck in a rift between two rocks, thanks to the towbar that has landed against one of the rocks. The car’s rear wheels are spinning in the air, and boy, is it steep.
Well-prepared Francois whips out a tow rope and connects it to the athletic Rubicon. In no time the Patrol is free and we are on the move.
The next uphill takes the cake as the father of steep. In full command of the Discovery TDV6 Sport, I prudently take on the pompous rock, whose incline is 60 degrees, at a glance. This is no timid boulder but the SUV’s meanness quickens my blood. When I squeeze the accelerator, it piles on the attitude.
By maintaining secrecy about what challenges lie ahead, the organisers keep the fun fires blazing.
A feeling of achievement prevails as we get to the top of the mountain – quickly – rendering Kilimanjaro irrelevant – even Everest.
This is a picture-perfect site. Standing on this mountain, we are surrounded: it’s mountain after mountain after mountain. Manoeuvring past the beautiful rocks requires serious negotiating and that’s where the cream of the fun is.
As if by consensus, we spend a longer time on the mountain. The tranquillity we enjoy as we feed our eyes on the breathtaking view of the rolling hills of the kingdom is priceless.
“In South Africa, places such as this one are already taken by private owners. We always need to seek permission and it’s sometimes difficult. That is why we come to Swaziland for this kind of activity,” says Andy Cory of Sidududu Tours.
Perhaps that is why most South Africans use their 4x4s to buy groceries. Ian says: “Only about 5% of our customers buy the 4x4 and actually do off-roading.”
The winter wind starts pressing down on the mountain and we know for sure it’s time to whip out jackets and grumpily accept that the end of our off-roading expedition has come.
So much for a short day, the day we took millions of rands to the bush to play. The combined value of the vehicles is in excess of R6 million, with the Range Rover sweeping the stakes at about R1.2 million.
Going back to the hotel, the vehicles snake down one of rugged Swaziland’s dirt roads. Because of the occasional cow on the road, vigilant driving is not optional and the bumpy ride is a trusted cure for insomnia. We are bushed. What a weekend!
Beautifully written piece! What an adventure it must have been.
ReplyDeleteBushwhacked! Fanatastic!
ReplyDeleteHow I would love to go to Swaziland right now.
ReplyDeleteI did a hummer experience once, practically climbed up a wall in one. IT was awesome.
ReplyDeleteEvokes a lot of envy! captivating experience
ReplyDeleteAnd you did that all with no alcohol? Good journalism ethics dictate that you do not distort the truth!
ReplyDeleteYour page is looking good. Pleasantly presented. Surely a good writer.
ReplyDeleteSaffagette
ReplyDeleteYes indeed truth is the cornerstone of journalism, but truth is alcohol is also the cornerstone of most fun, especially because this one was fundamentally dehydrating and stimulating floods of adrenalin